You might have Popcorn-Flavored Jelly Beans, But do you have…

Absinthe-flavored lollipops

or

Maple-Bacon flavored lollipops?

Candy isn’t just for kids; in fact, Lolliphile’s, lollipops are made with real absinthe, so you probably wouldn’t want your little ones anywhere near them.

The San Francisco company has been overwhelmed at the popularity of these anise flavored little suckers. Their mildly taboo nature makes them all the more intriguing.

“They are made with real (and completely legal!) absinthe, with no artificial colors or flavors at all,” the company explains.

The spirit absinthe not only has an alcohol content of 45%-75% ABV, but the herbal drink also has thujone, the chemical that was, for many years, attributed with addictive, psychoactive properties. The drink, which originated in Switzerland, was banned in the early 1900s in the US and most of Europe. Today, it’s been shown that when consumed in moderation, is not harmful at all and is being sold again in many countries.

“After a ridiculously long prohibition, absinthe has officially made a comeback,” Lollyphile explains on their site. “The US Government recently approved the sale of absinthe within certain guidelines, namely that there is less than 10ppm of thujone. Our Absinthe Lollipops contain an amount of thujone that is within the legal limits set by the US regulatory authorities and of the European Union.”

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Just When I Thought I Couldn’t Waste More Money on Water…

After long workouts at the buffet, I need a way to rehydrate myself. but with these piles of money stacking up, I just can’t cut it with normal, everyday bottled water. I was going to drink gas, but that shit is cheaper. ugh! so thanks to Evian, I now I have a better, more refined way of drinking down my precious money. Mineral Water Spray. 10 bucks for 5 ounces sounds like a little, but just think of all those starving children in Africa or Antarctica. or whatever. 5 ounces is more than half a can of soda, so you’re really saving the environment with the spray and you’re helping the economy. woot woot!

also, don’t buy this please. 

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Masturbatable Inflatables

Oh yeah, for all you classy people out there who think Alien Sex dolls is just wrong (not me…), Pipedream Products markets celebrity lookalike blow-up dolls. These dolls are probably cheaper than that actually thing, unless you want to stoop down to Britney-level and go to the Old Cuntry Buffet. oh wait, I forgot to add the Ohhhhhhh!

Radar Online: Why no male dolls?

Orlando: We can’t use porno guys [as models], because they’re disgusting but girls are a dime a dozen, so it’s no problem at all.

Here’s a link to the interview with the CEO

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The Aliens are Cuming!

Since Real Dolls aren’t good enough for all you creepers out there, and this documentary hasn’t swayed you away from Realdolldom, Area 51 has recently unlocked the classified ultra-secret sex dolls left after the Aliens crashed in Roswell. Being in company with Charlie Sheen may be one of your fantasies, but I wouldn’t want to be known for being the guy who buys real dolls. Now these documents have recently been released to the public. What I love about this product is that it caters to the people who really need to get laid, the guys who are watching total recall and Star Trek 24/7. Don’t get me wrong I love total recall, I can honestly say Arnold Schwarzeneggar cannot do a bad movie. He may not be a good actor, but his movies are fan-fuckin-tastic. Did you see Conan the Barbarian? and he’s not too bad acting like a politician too, except for the whole not-supporting-gay-marriage thing. anyway, I wish I could watch Star Trek, I just fall asleep everytime with the bland conversation. but it is funny how Captain James T. Kirk is so Pomp and how Spock is the shit because he’s so heartless. but I digress…Alien Sex Dolls. With Free Alien Lube, “pussy-shaped mouth, 3 supples breasts, suction cup fingers and ass-shaped ears make it the kinkiest love slave in the galaxy”.

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You Must be High to Think This is High Society.

So anyway, I was just chillin in my dorm room thinking, “fuck, it’s dark in here. The window is so far away, why isn’t there just a switch to turn on the sun?” and then I pooped. TMI? You can see that my room is almost as fancy as a prison cell, so I need to find a way to make it look more “street”, more “gansta”. so here it is. Urban Shoe Lights. Hope there is a “clap-on/clap-off” feature. if not, fuck it, why get up?
The design will be available in chandelier and tabletop versions.The design will be available in chandelier and tabletop versions.

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Poodoku!

Entretenimiento en el “momento all-bran”

Exercise your mind and your bowels? where do I sign. oh wait…
Shit! I suck at sudoku
also, shit.

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What the Hella Good Phone.

ZZZphones from USA (made in China) are allowing customers to design their own phones with whatever feature you could ever want – Even 2 SIM slots. Who needs that shit? This is a great idea. I mean, computers are customizable, why not phones? You think the market is saturated now? There are way more options overseas, both Europe and Asia (NOT Africa). We could supersaturate the market with all these phones and force producers to drive down the prices. or bring back pagers. what a great idea pagers were. it’s like the 8-track of the communication generation. or the Sega Dreamcast of communication. Just obsolete (but I’m sure there is a market for Dreamcast at least – there are petitions to bring the platform back) Then again, you could just waste your money on an iPhone. because iFuckinghateapple.

oh man. $149 base price. what’s the catch? oh. nothing much actually. I found a good one for $185 (just did the option for Skype, and that’s all I wanted to add). the base phone is good enough. wow.

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Please. She Needs Your Help.

Shibani is a 15 year-old girl in India. Her father only brings in 21 US dollars a month. She lives with her brother Joydeb, 14 and sister Bani, 7. Her favorite pastime is jumping rope and she is great at drawing. All 5 family members live in one multi-use room with walls and floors made of mud, and a roof made of corrugated metal. The home is heated with a coal stove. The sleep on the floor with a mat. Although water is not miles away, it is shared with the whole community Electricity is available, but not affordable. Their sanitary facility is an open field.
Please, I’m looking for donations to send to her each month. With being at college and my income level being lower, I need your help. Each month I send 22 dollars to Children International to help Shibani go to school, have clothes and get adequate medical care. She needs your help. I hate to sound like a broken record, but you really can help. Even one dollar will help me get her closer to the comfort we all enjoy.

Makes You Cringe

Organic? Fuck that! Gimme Somma Dat Purple Drink

Pepsi has decided to try and woo the health conscious people of the world with it’s newest Pepsi incarnation, Pepsi Raw. The fizzy caramel cola we all know is losing the artificial ingredients and are instead being replaced by apple extract, coffee leaf, cane sugar, and sparkling water. This change will also drop the drink anywhere from 10-30 calories, I’ve seen different figures floating around. As of now Pepsi Raw will only be served in certain bars and clubs in London, Manchester, Glasgow, Brighton, Birmingham, Leeds and Liverpool.

Please, I beg of you, send me this. I’m dying here. 
Doctor says all I can eat is organic products. 
Wait, what’s that you say? There already are organic colas? 
and what was that? Fruit? What the Fuck is Fruit?

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