Extreme Sports Get You Extreme Killed.

Not only can you get more extremely hurt (which is sick! Youtube that shit, yo!) but you can also look totally awesome-ly Asian. holla!

From the product webpage:
Poweriser is the latest in extreme sports! Powerisers
enable their users to run and jump with super human
speed and strength!
How’s that possible?
Powerisers possess a unique fiberglass spring which
is loaded with your gravitational potential and kinetic
energy! Simply push upon the spring using your weight
and the spring pushes back! Poweriser running and
jumping stilts will enable you to jump to heights of 5-7 feet
and run at speeds of 17-21 mph! A perfect leg training activity!

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Just When I Thought I Couldn’t Waste More Money on Water…

After long workouts at the buffet, I need a way to rehydrate myself. but with these piles of money stacking up, I just can’t cut it with normal, everyday bottled water. I was going to drink gas, but that shit is cheaper. ugh! so thanks to Evian, I now I have a better, more refined way of drinking down my precious money. Mineral Water Spray. 10 bucks for 5 ounces sounds like a little, but just think of all those starving children in Africa or Antarctica. or whatever. 5 ounces is more than half a can of soda, so you’re really saving the environment with the spray and you’re helping the economy. woot woot!

also, don’t buy this please. 

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Masturbatable Inflatables

Oh yeah, for all you classy people out there who think Alien Sex dolls is just wrong (not me…), Pipedream Products markets celebrity lookalike blow-up dolls. These dolls are probably cheaper than that actually thing, unless you want to stoop down to Britney-level and go to the Old Cuntry Buffet. oh wait, I forgot to add the Ohhhhhhh!

Radar Online: Why no male dolls?

Orlando: We can’t use porno guys [as models], because they’re disgusting but girls are a dime a dozen, so it’s no problem at all.

Here’s a link to the interview with the CEO

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The Aliens are Cuming!

Since Real Dolls aren’t good enough for all you creepers out there, and this documentary hasn’t swayed you away from Realdolldom, Area 51 has recently unlocked the classified ultra-secret sex dolls left after the Aliens crashed in Roswell. Being in company with Charlie Sheen may be one of your fantasies, but I wouldn’t want to be known for being the guy who buys real dolls. Now these documents have recently been released to the public. What I love about this product is that it caters to the people who really need to get laid, the guys who are watching total recall and Star Trek 24/7. Don’t get me wrong I love total recall, I can honestly say Arnold Schwarzeneggar cannot do a bad movie. He may not be a good actor, but his movies are fan-fuckin-tastic. Did you see Conan the Barbarian? and he’s not too bad acting like a politician too, except for the whole not-supporting-gay-marriage thing. anyway, I wish I could watch Star Trek, I just fall asleep everytime with the bland conversation. but it is funny how Captain James T. Kirk is so Pomp and how Spock is the shit because he’s so heartless. but I digress…Alien Sex Dolls. With Free Alien Lube, “pussy-shaped mouth, 3 supples breasts, suction cup fingers and ass-shaped ears make it the kinkiest love slave in the galaxy”.

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