“Britney’s Law” (LAWL)

2 03 2008

britneyhadtoomuchcokenowparalyzedAnti-stalkerazzi bill in Los Angeles of all places. or should I say, Whale’s Vagina. I am kinda fluent in German, so…::brush off my shoulders:: This bill is being debated because the police in a recent attempt to get Britney Spears in the a Psychiatric ward (finally) they had to enlist several vehicles, a helicopter and an ambulance. which cost about $25,000 – from taxpayers. Yes! lets use money to “save” Britney from paparazzi, but put a limit on property taxes. Property taxes fund the majority of schooling and California set a limit on collecting those taxes by referendum. Sometimes democracy sucks, you uninformed bastards.

Other Paparazzi news:

1. Go Fuck Yourself

2.  You too can be a Paparazzo P of S (peice of shit) or Pofs

3.  You can have your own Stalkerazzi, for a price (no witty sidenote found)

LINK





Please. She Needs Your Help.

29 02 2008

shibaniShibani is a 15 year-old girl in India. Her father only brings in 21 US dollars a month. She lives with her brother Joydeb, 14 and sister Bani, 7. Her favorite pastime is jumping rope and she is great at drawing. All 5 family members live in one multi-use room with walls and floors made of mud, and a roof made of corrugated metal. The home is heated with a coal stove. The sleep on the floor with a mat. Although water is not miles away, it is shared with the whole community Electricity is available, but not affordable. Their sanitary facility is an open field.
Please, I’m looking for donations to send to her each month. With being at college and my income level being lower, I need your help. Each month I send 22 dollars to Children International to help Shibani go to school, have clothes and get adequate medical care. She needs your help. I hate to sound like a broken record, but you really can help. Even one dollar will help me get her closer to the comfort we all enjoy.





The First Rule of Fight Club is…

29 02 2008

Fight Club Musical in the Works fightclubmusicalisforchumps

Interested? Trent Reznor might do the music. More interested? Know people who want to start a fight club? someone with multiple personality disorder? People who just plain like to fuck each others faces up? yes, me too. Wanna join a real fight club? Meet other fighters online. because the first rule of fight club is…you talk about fight club online in hopes to me other fighters so you can fight sometime, and maybe make a youtube video about it and get it snagged off the internet and then you’re like “fuck man, that’s so lame, isn’t this a free country? last time I checked this was a free country. hahaha. Country. Cunt. hahahaha. tree. damn, I’m hungry. no wait, horny” and then you realize Youtube isn’t just an American corporation, it’s an international corporations with it’s operations all over the world and then you’re like, “fuck, this is a run-on sentence if I ever seen one. I mean, If I ever sawed one. Sorry, I’m an English buff, I know hows words works.”

The Musical: LINK

Fight Club Online: LINK





Now You Can Be An Asshole Too

27 02 2008

The Rise of the ‘Citizen Paparazzi’
Wall Street Journal: LINK

Earlier I posted an article about paying for your own personal paparazzi. Now you, too, can ruin some rich celebrities caramel latte run.

paparazzi

Erin Horgan is more than a casual John Mayer fan. When she learned about a Caribbean cruise being offered earlier this month with the singer as the featured entertainment, the 22-year-old worker at a Hyannis, Mass., scrapbooking store didn’t hesitate to drop $1,000 for a ticket.
As it turned out, she got even more contact with her favorite singer than she expected: Mr. Mayer, hamming it up for fellow passengers, donned a neon green thong-style swimsuit as Ms. Horgan and others furiously snapped photographs. In a blog post after returning home, Ms. Horgan joked that she was going to send the pictures to celebrity magazine Us Weekly. She didn’t have to. Within days, Ms. Horgan heard not only from Us Weekly, but also from MTV, VH1, Rolling Stone, Blender and Newsweek. She ended up selling photos to Newsweek and VH1 – she says she was offered “a couple hundred” for each photo, but declines to be more specific. Erin Horgan, 22, snapped pictures of a scantily clad John Mayer while on a cruise. She sold photos of the singer to Newsweek and VH1.
“The thought of getting shots that anyone was interested in was never on my mind,” she said. Ms. Horgan is part of the changing face of the paparazzi trade, an Internet-fueled industry that feeds on the public’s seemingly insatiable interest in entertainment news. Photo agencies are increasingly relying on submissions from regular folk who either happen to bump into celebrities while carrying digital cameras, or who have injected themselves into the cat-and-mouse game of celebrity snapshots, despite any formal training…





The Onion on Obama

15 02 2008


Do We Really Want Another Black President After The Events Of Deep Impact?
The Onion:
LINK

Sponsored by I am not prejudiced. Far from it. What I am—or, I should say, who I am—is a man who loves his country so deeply that he is unwilling to stand idly by while our nation allows itself to be completely annihilated by another incoming comet.

Have we learned nothing from the tragic events of 1998, when, under the watch of President Morgan Freeman, this nation was plunged into chaos, and hundreds of millions of people died at the hands of the deadly Wolf-Beiderman space rock? The mere fact that this country is even considering putting another black man, Barack Obama, in the Oval Office proves that we have not.

We can’t deny the facts, people. All we will get by electing an African-American is Texas-size space particles crashing into the Earth’s surface, mega-tsunamis that barrel into the Appalachian Mountains, and 6.6 billion dead people.

I’m not suggesting that President Freeman was directly responsible for the creation of the Wolf-Beiderman comet or its Earth-bound path. That would be ridiculous. What I am saying is that under the watch of a black man that comet destroyed the entire Eastern seaboard. So, if history is any indicator, a vote for Barack Obama in 2008 is essentially a vote for the complete and total obliteration of the human race.

Don’t we owe it to our children, and our children’s children, to use this upcoming election to guarantee the Earth’s existence rather than dooming it for eternity?

To even risk putting Mr. Obama in a position where he would insist, as past black presidents have, that our nuclear arsenal is powerful enough to divert the incoming comet would be foolish, to say the least. Any decision like that would only break the fast-approaching space rock into two very powerful asteroids, both of which would end up heading straight for Earth, leaving all of us who aren’t on the small list of people picked to live in the government-sponsored protective caves to burn, drown, or die while in the arms of our estranged fathers. The only difference is, this time around, the late astronaut Robert Duvall will not be alive to save millions of lives by conducting a suicide space mission to destroy the larger of the two asteroids before it enters the Earth’s atmosphere.

In my book, any possible repeat of this extinction-level event is reason enough not to elect another African-American president. Consider that later that same summer, just two months after the first deep impact, this very country once again faced Armageddon in the form of another comet hurtling toward Earth. In this instance, under the watch of a white president who sort of looked like an older Dennis Quaid, that catastrophe was avoided entirely.

As if that is not enough, history shows us that, besides carrying the baggage of a guaranteed asteroid strike, black heads of state also give terrorists extra motivation to destroy the United States. During the presidency of 24’s David Palmer, there were no fewer than four nuclear bombs smuggled into this country. That’s four more than under any white president. Though we should have known better than to elect President Palmer in the first place (he was elected three years after President Freeman left office), the U.S. populace made him the commander in chief because it was swayed by then-Senator Palmer’s commitment to change, his no-nonsense approach, and his ability to inspire. Sound familiar?†

Asteroids and nuclear bombs—that’s what this nation can expect from an Obama White House.

Need I even mention that former President Chris Rock and his administration’s slogan was “The only thing white is the house”? Though this attitude broke down the stuffiness typically associated with proper White House decorum, President Rock’s laissez-faire approach not only made a mockery of the office at home, but made the United States look like a joke abroad.

I concede that the United States has had a competent African-American president in the huge black guy from the The Fifth Element, who did great things for this country by keeping the evil Mr. Zorg at bay. But that is years from now. There is no denying that by 2236, when we have flying taxicabs, this country will be ready for a black president. But until then, if we want life in this great land to continue as we know it, we owe it to ourselves to make the right choice and reelect Kevin Kline.





3 to replace Ledger

15 02 2008


The late Heath Ledger passed while filming Terry Gilliam’s The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. Production halted a respectable amount of time, as per Hollywood standards, but of course…the show must go on. Check out the prospective replacements, after the jump!

Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell to all play Heath Ledger’s last character.

When I first read this story I thought it must have been something cooked up by a journalist with an overactive imagination, and it very well might be, but movie site Ain’t It Cool News is reporting that the director of the film Heath Ledger left unfinished when he died, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, has three big names in mind to take over for his character. Since the film is a fantasy in which Ledger’s character could easily change into someone else, all three replacement actors may pay tribute to Heath with performances:

Have I mentioned how much I love this idea? Because I do. I think it’s beautiful that the script loaned itself to this sort of idea, that we’re going to see Heath Ledger’s work in Terry Gilliam’s new film, and that we’re also going to see three very interesting actors step up to offer interpretations of him as a way of paying one final tribute to this actor whose career was cut so sadly short.

We’ve heard rumors about who might be stepping in, but now we’ve got the names verified. Count on it.

JOHNNY DEPP.

JUDE LAW.

COLIN FARRELL.

Nice choices, Gilliam. Can’t wait to see what happens inside the IMAGINARIUM OF DR. PARNASSUS, and I’d love to get a look at the script they’re going to use as they start this next stretch of shooting on the film.

[From Ain’t It Cool News]

Ain’t It Cool News has a good reputation for getting insider information on films and this could be true. About three weeks ago unreliable British source The Sun wrote that Imaginarium director Terry Gilliam wanted Johnny Depp to take over Heath’s part. There’s a scene in which Heath’s character falls through a magic mirror, and Cinematical quotes a studio source as saying “He could change into another character after that and that is where Johnny would come in.”

Back when that story came out, the movie was in shutdown mode following the death of Ledger, and workers on the film thought it wouldn’t come back. The star of the film, Christopher Plummer, has said that Heath’s final scenes would be created using CGI imagery, and he did suggest that other actors would be used. He is quoted as saying that “Because the film deals with magic, there is a way of turning Heath into other people, and then use stills and computer generated imagery.”

Maybe Heath’s character will get turned into three other top actors. It’s exciting to think that Depp, Law and Farrell might play in this film. I bet Daniel Day Lewis would be happy to be involved too, as he dedicated his SAG Award to Heath and seemed to be very affected by his death.
The evocative header image was created by /film.





The Naked Gun Video Game

13 02 2008


In Another Dimension, The Naked Gun Video Game Would Have Been The Best Game Of All Time
Bestweekever.tv: LINK

Naked Gun“The Naked Gun” is, depending on my mood, probably my favorite movie of all time. I’ve been able to quote every line since I was about ten, long before I understood the “pap smear” or “nice beaver!” jokes (I just thought it was funny she had a huge stuffed beaver). Imagine my surprise, then, when I learned that the most epic trilogy in cinematic history almost spawned its own slapstick-filled video game, featuring the unmistakable deadpan of Leslie Neilsen:

“We signed up Leslie Nielsen and even paid him. We managed to get the license for the game which was not an easy thing for a developer but the deal had a time limit: we had to sign up a Publisher to put the game out by a certain date or we had to hand back the license,..”

Leslie Nielsen, then, would do the voice-over of the main character, and, from what we’ve been told, it was to be filled with those slapstick and visual gags that made David Zucker’s films so unique.

Meanwhile, in a better dimension, drunk Dan is yelling at his friends for not realizing how brilliant the Naked Gun video game is:

All I’m saying is, it’sss just a really underappreciated video game. I juss feel like these games nowadaysre too afraid to just write actual enemies… what happened to that? It’s a losst art. And don’t get me wrong, I love theseee Adult Swim games, but sometimes you just want to play a game that’s got a buncha wacky, straightforward enemies and bosses n stuff, not a bunch a puzzles n save statez nnn…whasss so hard aboutt thatd??