From the Vatican: Commandments of the Road

12 12 2007

How did I miss this? The Vatican Released a 36-page guidebook entitled “Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road.” This four-part epic gies through the history of travel, what drivers should do and what pastors should do. Cardinal Ratzinger I think you just topped yourself once again. not only do you look like Nosferatu, you finally make me realize that I should follow the law. I almost forgot why I don’t go to church anymore. thanks for the heads up.

Here Are the Commandments:

I. You shall not kill. (This seems oddly familiar)
II. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm. (Communion, like, you mean I’m supposed to eat the road? is the road the body of christ?)
III. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events. (That’s Deja Vu, I got that in my Fortune Cookie!)
IV. Be charitable and help your neighbour in need, especially victims of accidents. (No thanks)
V. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin. (Bullshit! I’ve got a motherfuckin Hummer for a reason!)
VI. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so. (but don’t convince anyone else, or you shall feel the fire of HELLLL!!!!)
VII. Support the families of accident victims. (Applause?)
VIII. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness. (It’s driving, not confession, mmk?)
IX. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party. (A preist would say that…)
X. Feel responsible towards others. (Are you sure this isn’t a fortune Cookie?)




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