Overheard in New York

11 10 2007

Some Favorites:

Professor: If you are selected, meet me and talk to me about the presentation on Thursday, and you can take advantage of me. [Awkward pause, then] If you want to rape me, you are welcome to try, but I don’t think so because I am pretty strong.

–NYU

Overheard by: Ting

Professor: Okay, you guys fill out these course evaluations, and I’ll go amuse myself for 15 minutes by… doing drugs or something [leaves room].

–Waverly Building, NYU

Overheard by: evanescent

Not with That Haircut, You’re Not

Hefty guy: Excuse me, I really need to go to the bathroom. Can I go in front of you?
Woman in front of him in line: I’m in a rush, too.
Hefty guy, to no one: Can you believe this city? Everyone is in a rush. Everyone is rude. I just need to go to the bathroom… No one will ever help you out.
Woman in front of him: Sir, you are the one that is being rude.
Hefty guy, yelling: I am not a sir, I am a ma’am! [Silence ensues.]

–CVS, 64th & 2nd

Overheard by: Shannon

On the Way to a PFLAG Meeting

Ghetto mama: Gimme some of yo’ Skittles, boy.
Little boy: No, they be my Skittles.
Ghetto papa: Boy, you best to give yo’ mama some Skittles or yo’ ass is nevah gonna taste that rainbow again.

–1 train

Born-Again Brain Teaser

God Squad lady: Praise Jesus! You won’t be saved without Jesus! You have to start believing in Jesus to be saved! Jesus will always be there for you!
Suit #1: Would it be so awful if we pushed her out when the doors open?
Suit #2: No. Jesus will save her.

–4 train

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