I might return to WordPress

I’m debating if I like Tumblr still. I may just use it as a site for just aggregating cool stuff. I’d much rather have a blog that I can use for Personal Commentary, Movie reviews, Book reviews and Articles. I just want a space where I can get comments. I’m so on for a challenge to get internet populatirty.

Comedy Central Used to Play SNL

Hey remember when Comedy Central played reruns of SNL like 24/7?

and there was a rivalry between HA! and Comedy Channel. but they merged and is now Comedy Central.

and remember what HBO stands for?

HOME BOX OFFICE.

actually reading about the Comedy Channel Makes me wish I saw it. Listen to this:
“The format prior to the merger included several original and unconventional programs such as Onion World with Rich Hall and Mystery Science Theater 3000, as well as laid-back variety/talk shows hosted by stand-up comedians, including The Sweet Life with Rachel Sweet, Tommy Sledge, Private Eye, Night After Night with Allan Havey, Sports Monster and The Higgins Boys and Gruber, the latter of whom performed sketches in between showings of vintage television serials like Supercar, Clutch Cargo, and Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp.”

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

Believe it or not, this sentence is grammatically correct and has meaning: “Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.” First devised by professor William J. Rapaport in 1972, the sentence uses various meanings and parts of speech for the term “buffalo” (and its related proper noun “Buffalo”) to make an extremely hard-to-parse sentence. Although most people know “buffalo” as both a singular and plural term for bison, and “Buffalo” as a city in New York, “buffalo” is also a verb meaning “to bully, confuse, deceive, or intimidate.”…

LINK

Ode to Spitzer

I was gonna go all “Perez Hilton” on his photo, but I decided in favor of a little class. very little class.

Top 5 Reasons Dropping $80,000 for a Hooker is Bad for the Environment

1. Extra Travel
2. Hotels
3. Conspicuous Consumption
4. The Money
5. Political Backlash

LINK

Ashley Alexandra Dupre’s Myspace (with her own music!)

LINK

Prostitution in a Wired World

“Not only can prostitutes and escort services now run more efficient businesses, but they can leverage word-of-mouth advertising in new ways to build their brands and troll for clients.”
LINK

Prostitution: A User’s Manual

This article goes through all those nagging prostitution questions like “what is prostitution?”; “do prostitutions have a comparative and/or absolute advantage is blowjobs?”; “why do prostitutes rake in so much dough?”; “how can I become a prostitute?”; and “where can I find prostitutes?”

LINK

Ashley Alexandra Dupre Cashes In

This article makes me wish I was Spitzer’s woman. I want to be in Playboy!

LINK

You Need Reasons to Think Spiderman Sucks?

This is in response to emails and comments I’ve recieved in a big influx regarding this post: Why I would not like to be spiderman. Instead of making a whole new I hate spiderman list, I’ve chosen to respond to letters, and comments I’ve gotten in regard to my post. The italicized parts will be me. Below. Caption “I’m coming for your kids!”

Hi My name is Kelly and Im in year eight
and just f y i you are really weird!!! and maybe slightly retarded…(eye yam sofa king we todd ed, Kelly. get an education. didn’t you learn in skewl how 2 talk? How dare you call them retards, you, you, retard.)
Spider man is one of the coolest super heroes around (how dare you call him cool. and if I was doing a “coolest super heroes” list, which this is not, spiderman would not make the 100 hero list. Have you seen his get-up? who made that crap, spiders? because it looks worse than anything Elisa (from season 4 of project runway) has ever made.) and there you are trying to diss him… seriously?! (Yes, trying, but you’re making it a lot easier)

the one-and-only thing i slightly agree with you on is the whole ‘ does he
have a spider bite that can make other people spiders…’ yes that would
be cooler if he did… but still like come on!!! (I’ll have to come on you if you keep this up. [I'm not a pedophile, seriously. don't visit this site: LINK])
don’t you just love looking at all the little kids in the movie theaters
looking up to spider man like he is the greatest heroes ever?? (yes, I like looking at kids, you got me…) and when
there are dress-up parties and the little kids go to the parties dressed
up like spider man?? Like how cute is that??? awww…
anyways… plz (no. not cool.) dont (punctuation, who do you think I am, E.e. Cummings? [he was a poet who resisted capitalization and puncuation, n00bsause. also, Cummings...hahahaha]) reply even though u probly like am totally enraged by all this….so… bye…

Anonymous said: go eat willy 

(Done. )

Tim said:

You, sir, are a dumbass. (point taken.) First of all spiderwebs are among the strongest materials known to man (oh yeah, try to break a diamond with a spiderweb. or better yet, try to stop me from cleaning the cobwebs outta jo mamas vajayjay), and if you actually researched what you were dishing on, you’d know that. Not to mention the fact that the spider was radioactive. (like your mom.) Secondly, dinosaurs suck mainly because they are EXTINCT. (like your mom, I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself) How many dinosaurs do you know that can swing from webs, spit venom and strike fear into the hearts of millions world-wide even though most are smaller than a quarter? (actually, 3. you should watch out. they are very offended by you. and very angry. not because of you, but because they can’t find a good store to buy clothes for men who are big and tall. oh wait, now I remember, Men’s Wearhouse.) Dinosaurs couldn’t even survive their own Apocalypse, smart-one. Thirdly, how much ass could YOU kick wearing jeans and a t-shirt? (a lot.) Sure Frank Castle did it (also awesome) but Spidey’s suit gave him a greater range of motion for more ass-kicking.(DUH). What makes a true superhero isn’t what they wear or their super-powers, it the fact that they push their own problems aside and sacrifice their life for a greater good (i.e. the lives of millions of other people who can’t defend theirselves against villains). (actually it’s the superpowers and their clothes. If I want to read about mental problems, I’ll pick up your journal, Masturbater McMasturbatesallthetime.) Lastly, the spider that bit Peter Parker, WAS RADIOACTIVE DUMBASS! (you said that already. and nobody seems to care)

“Spidersam” said:

I would just like to say.
you are ridiculosly stupid (a college education would do that to you.)

Spiderman owns, have you ever seen him lose? (well, he is a loser. does that count?)

and when he does. (yes, that’s a sentence.) he gets right back up and kicks ass.

and dinosaurs?
are you freaking stupid? (not nearly enough, apparently. not stupid enough to compete with you.)

you are. sorry. (don’t be sorry, it’s ok. Olive juice, comma.)
dinosaurs cant go in buildings or anything. (that’s why Godzilla rulezzz d00d. am I right?)

they’ll freaking destroy the city. (OH NO! IT’S GODZILLA!!!!!!!!!)

DOUCHE.

think your stupid comments through next time. (ditto!)

Tim is a genius.

From Spidersam.

Whos cooler then you. (put some clothes on, your neighbors are watching you touch yourself…again.)

Video Gamers Leave Baby To Die

Via Kotaku 

LINK

Everything was usurped from Kotaku, I do not take credit for this: 

“While the headline for the actual story reads “Parents of Baby Left Alone in Car Seat for 8 Days Face Murder Charges”, Fox News decided to go with the much classier “Video Gamers Leave Baby To Die” on the front page of their website today to direct eyes towards the story of a Peoria Illinois couple who left their 5-month-old baby strapped to a carseat in a crib for 8 days while they were home “playing video games, watching TV, feeding and caring for themselves.” A truly horrible crime, but why the video gamer hate? As tipster Orrin points out, why not “TV Watchers Leave Baby To Die?” Simple. Because irresponsible video gamers are big news.

Check out some of the other headlines I have found for this story across the web:

Parents of 5-month-old face first-degree murder charges – Illinois Daily Herald
Parents Charged with Murder – Central Illinois Proud
Parents face first-degree murder in death of baby bound last week - WTHI News

Not one other news outlet I can find focused on the gaming like Fox News did. Are they holding a grudge over the Mass Effect debacle or what? As more and more people start playing video games, will every headline start to read like this? “Man Who Played Video Games Robs Bank.” “Video Gamer Dies In Car Crash.” This is getting pretty damn ridiculous. Is there a video game angle? Sure. Is it the only angle? Of course not. How about “Irresponsible Young Parents Leave Baby To Die”? Bah. I’m going to go punch something and blame it on gaming.”

What’s Always Been True for the Class of 2011

Here’s a snippet of “BELOIT COLLEGE’S MINDSET LIST® FOR THE CLASS OF 2011″ Hope you enjoy what you already know Class of 2011, which I am a part of. 
Most of the students entering College this fall, members of the Class of 2011, were born in 1989. For them, Alvin Ailey, Andrei Sakharov, Huey Newton, Emperor Hirohito, Ted Bundy, Abbie Hoffman, and Don the Beachcomber have always been dead.
1. The Soviet Union has never existed.
3. For most of their lives, major U.S. airlines have been bankrupt.
7. They have grown up with bottled water.
11. Rap music has always been mainstream.
24. Being “lame” has to do with being dumb or inarticulate, not disabled.
52. Time has always worked with Warner.
68. Burma has always been Myanmar.
69. Dilbert has always been ridiculing cubicle culture.

And more.
LINK

How to Have Friends (and Live Like the Peanuts)

WikiHow has this wonderful article about how to have friends (and live like the peanuts). if you want to get shitted on, be Charlie Brown. he’s cool…PSYCHE! This wonderful article has the Warning: “In today’s age of sex, drugs, and violence, this could be difficult to pull off past age 8.” Which begs the question, why not try it until you’re old? I’m sure there is Charlie Brown-related fetish porn out there. Don’t look, I’ve tried. nothing on the web, yet. probably will be as creepy as Erotic Falconry: erotic images with falcons. so here goes the steps:

First, figure out which Peanut you are:
Charlie Brown. Good ol’ Charlie Brown, owner of Snoopy, he’s dependable, sensitive, and has a very round head. And, of course, a surprisingly good sense of humor.
Lucy Van Pelt. Lucy is pretty, crabby, and a little demanding. She loves to boss her little brother, Linus, around, and flirt with Schroeder. She is also famous for her ‘crabby psychiatric help’
Linus Van Pelt. Lucy’s blanket-obsessed little brother, Linus is cute and innocent- he believes in the great pumpkin, treasures his blanket, and makes hot chocolate by dipping brown crayons in hot water.
Schroeder. Schroeder is a phenomenal pianist, does not return Lucy’s feelings, and… plays baseball, like all the other Peanuts.
Snoopy. The narrator of the play, Snoopy is funny, sweet, and imaginative. He loves to pretend that he’s the ‘flying ace’
Sally Brown. She’s Charlie’s sister who is in love with his best friend, Linus. She’s cute, has that “Brown sense of humor”, and is bvery contemporary.
Pigpen. He’s the dirtiest boy in the world, but has a heart of gold. He doesn’t shower often, but he can be counted on.
Frieda. She’s famous for her naturally curly hair. Although others may describe her as vain, she is a good friend. She plays baseball like all the other peanuts.
And, of course, there are many other Peanuts characters such as Marcie, Peppermint Patty, and Franklin! Feel free to add their descriptions.
Next, find some true friends (aka creepers). You can tease each other in fun, but at the end of the day, you’re always BFFs. To find them, look around you neighborhood(it’s always good to live in close vicinity of each other) for other kids who seem like they could use a friend, and talk to them. They won’t turn you down.
Next, try classically fun activities such as snowball fights and hot chocolate in the cold weather, playing sports, singing songs, acting in plays, or giving ‘crabby psychiatric help’.
Get the Attitude. A positive one. Be nice to everybody, but do joke around a lot. That’s what Peanuts is all about! Just relax and don’t be in too much of a hurry to grow up. Love life, and life will love you back.
Have several ‘running jokes’ in your life, such as Linus’ Great Pumpkin theory(which went on for about 40 years) and The Baseball Team That Never Wins(also nearly half a century. Never gets old.)
If you’re a Charlie Brown, get a beagle and love him/her to bits. Points if said beagle is really quirky.

Please. She Needs Your Help.

Shibani is a 15 year-old girl in India. Her father only brings in 21 US dollars a month. She lives with her brother Joydeb, 14 and sister Bani, 7. Her favorite pastime is jumping rope and she is great at drawing. All 5 family members live in one multi-use room with walls and floors made of mud, and a roof made of corrugated metal. The home is heated with a coal stove. The sleep on the floor with a mat. Although water is not miles away, it is shared with the whole community Electricity is available, but not affordable. Their sanitary facility is an open field.
Please, I’m looking for donations to send to her each month. With being at college and my income level being lower, I need your help. Each month I send 22 dollars to Children International to help Shibani go to school, have clothes and get adequate medical care. She needs your help. I hate to sound like a broken record, but you really can help. Even one dollar will help me get her closer to the comfort we all enjoy.

“After All, I’m 16 and Can Make Up My Own Mind.”

 She met him at a Halloween party and “fell head over heels for him… I thought he was gorgeous – tall, dark and handsome… We started chatting and there was an instant chemistry between us. He made me feel like I was the only person in the room… The stubble on his chin made him look very different to the baby-faced school boys I’m used to – but I assumed he was about 25,” she says. “He was funny and charming – a far cry from the boys my age I’d been used to dating… Your average 16 or 17-year-old boy is awkward, immature and only interested in impressing his mates, whereas Craig wasn’t showing off or being silly. It was such a nice change. I thought: ‘If this is what older men are like then I want to date one’.”

“Then he told me he was 36 and I just fell off my chair.”

“He told me he was divorced and had a two-year-old daughter, but that didn’t put me off at all. I thought it was so sweet that he was being so honest with me. He’s the fourth guy I’ve been with, but the others were all inexperienced teenagers – boys I’d been going out with for a few months. It was very different with Craig. He knew exactly what he was doing. He told me how beautiful I was and made me feel really special and cared for.” LINK

Now they live together. With her parents. Any comments?