Drugs are Ok. But Skittles, Fuck, Suspension!

An eighth-grade honors student was suspended for a day, barred from attending an honors dinner and stripped of his title as class vice president after he was caught with contraband candy. He was restored to his post and his suspension expunged. But get a load of this awesome quotation:

“I am sorry this has happened,” Principal Turner said in a statement. “My hope is that we can get back to the normal school routine, especially since we are in the middle of taking the Connecticut mastery test.”

…Especially since we are in the middle of taking the Connecticut mastery test. Yes. Not because it is fucking stupid to suspend someone for selling skittles, but because the distraction will break moral and cause students to do bad on a fucking state test. Michael didn’t realize his candy purchase was against the rules, but he was being “secretive”. You would be secretive too, if you were a politician. didn’t you see that Spitzer guy?

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