You Need Reasons to Think Spiderman Sucks?

This is in response to emails and comments I’ve recieved in a big influx regarding this post: Why I would not like to be spiderman. Instead of making a whole new I hate spiderman list, I’ve chosen to respond to letters, and comments I’ve gotten in regard to my post. The italicized parts will be me. Below. Caption “I’m coming for your kids!”

Hi My name is Kelly and Im in year eight
and just f y i you are really weird!!! and maybe slightly retarded…(eye yam sofa king we todd ed, Kelly. get an education. didn’t you learn in skewl how 2 talk? How dare you call them retards, you, you, retard.)
Spider man is one of the coolest super heroes around (how dare you call him cool. and if I was doing a “coolest super heroes” list, which this is not, spiderman would not make the 100 hero list. Have you seen his get-up? who made that crap, spiders? because it looks worse than anything Elisa (from season 4 of project runway) has ever made.) and there you are trying to diss him… seriously?! (Yes, trying, but you’re making it a lot easier)

the one-and-only thing i slightly agree with you on is the whole ‘ does he
have a spider bite that can make other people spiders…’ yes that would
be cooler if he did… but still like come on!!! (I’ll have to come on you if you keep this up. [I'm not a pedophile, seriously. don't visit this site: LINK])
don’t you just love looking at all the little kids in the movie theaters
looking up to spider man like he is the greatest heroes ever?? (yes, I like looking at kids, you got me…) and when
there are dress-up parties and the little kids go to the parties dressed
up like spider man?? Like how cute is that??? awww…
anyways… plz (no. not cool.) dont (punctuation, who do you think I am, E.e. Cummings? [he was a poet who resisted capitalization and puncuation, n00bsause. also, Cummings...hahahaha]) reply even though u probly like am totally enraged by all this….so… bye…

Anonymous said: go eat willy 

(Done. )

Tim said:

You, sir, are a dumbass. (point taken.) First of all spiderwebs are among the strongest materials known to man (oh yeah, try to break a diamond with a spiderweb. or better yet, try to stop me from cleaning the cobwebs outta jo mamas vajayjay), and if you actually researched what you were dishing on, you’d know that. Not to mention the fact that the spider was radioactive. (like your mom.) Secondly, dinosaurs suck mainly because they are EXTINCT. (like your mom, I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself) How many dinosaurs do you know that can swing from webs, spit venom and strike fear into the hearts of millions world-wide even though most are smaller than a quarter? (actually, 3. you should watch out. they are very offended by you. and very angry. not because of you, but because they can’t find a good store to buy clothes for men who are big and tall. oh wait, now I remember, Men’s Wearhouse.) Dinosaurs couldn’t even survive their own Apocalypse, smart-one. Thirdly, how much ass could YOU kick wearing jeans and a t-shirt? (a lot.) Sure Frank Castle did it (also awesome) but Spidey’s suit gave him a greater range of motion for more ass-kicking.(DUH). What makes a true superhero isn’t what they wear or their super-powers, it the fact that they push their own problems aside and sacrifice their life for a greater good (i.e. the lives of millions of other people who can’t defend theirselves against villains). (actually it’s the superpowers and their clothes. If I want to read about mental problems, I’ll pick up your journal, Masturbater McMasturbatesallthetime.) Lastly, the spider that bit Peter Parker, WAS RADIOACTIVE DUMBASS! (you said that already. and nobody seems to care)

“Spidersam” said:

I would just like to say.
you are ridiculosly stupid (a college education would do that to you.)

Spiderman owns, have you ever seen him lose? (well, he is a loser. does that count?)

and when he does. (yes, that’s a sentence.) he gets right back up and kicks ass.

and dinosaurs?
are you freaking stupid? (not nearly enough, apparently. not stupid enough to compete with you.)

you are. sorry. (don’t be sorry, it’s ok. Olive juice, comma.)
dinosaurs cant go in buildings or anything. (that’s why Godzilla rulezzz d00d. am I right?)

they’ll freaking destroy the city. (OH NO! IT’S GODZILLA!!!!!!!!!)

DOUCHE.

think your stupid comments through next time. (ditto!)

Tim is a genius.

From Spidersam.

Whos cooler then you. (put some clothes on, your neighbors are watching you touch yourself…again.)