Googlize me!

Google has made an announcement that could help hundreds of homeless people in San Francisco get back on their feet. A homeless person will be able to call in for his or her messages from any phone.

Although I’ve featured many articles about the homeless, I still feel like their plight is awful. around 50% of all homeless are children. There are many ways to help them and our government fails to do so. I applaud Google’s efforts to help the underpriveledged, even though it isn’t a giant step, it may lead to allowing the Homeless to get free P.O. Boxes they can use for residency requirement for all that stupid bureaucratic paper work. The homeless have so many things hindering their advancement in society, especially the lack of efficiency and funding by the State, Local and Federal Government.

LINK

Start Charging for Plastic Bags … or else

Update on Bags.

Gordon Brown today orders supermarkets to stop giving away carrier bags – or be forced to do so.

The Prime Minister is lending his voice to the Daily Mail’s campaign against the blight of “plastic poison”.

Under an initiative to be introduced next month, stores will be given a year to match Marks & Spencer’s pledge to slash the use of environmentally- damaging throwaway bags, by charging customers 5p for each one. Retailers who do not do so voluntarily will be required to impose a levy of at least 5p.

Right on, Gordy! You might stay in office now, if I was the only one voting.
Plastic Bags and waste are an obvious problem in our society and we should reduce
our waste.

LINK

Schools Increase ‘Leap Year’ Security

Schools Increase ‘Leap Year’ Security

The so-called “Leap Year threat” has brought fear and concern to parents and students in Bucks and Lehigh Counties. As a precaution, schools like Central Bucks High School South in Warrington, have increased security leading up to February 29.

Rumors of the so-called threat started appearing on MySpace with the “229 Brigade” and “Pink Army.” They are self-proclaimed anti-government and anti-war, peace movement

The letter sent by Principal W. Rodney Stone read in part:
“Each time we have researched a rumor it goes back to the same source, which was a discussion last week at the Middle Bucks Institute of Technology about a newspaper report from Bethlehem, Pa. The Warrington Township Police Department has investigated all information presented to them and has obtained the same information we have … We have rigorous safety measures in place each day Friday we will intensify those measures to provide a safe learning environment for your child.”

I went to school only a couple miles from CB South. Actually I had a lot of friends go there. what makes 2/29 so special anyway? This shit is ridiculous. Please Comment your opinions. This hits close to home. no pun intended.

The IRA used a tactic of Demonstrative Terrorism. They would tell England when, where they would set off a bomb. They sent out a message and no one (thankfully, hopefully) got hurt. 

LINK

Organic? Fuck that! Gimme Somma Dat Purple Drink

Pepsi has decided to try and woo the health conscious people of the world with it’s newest Pepsi incarnation, Pepsi Raw. The fizzy caramel cola we all know is losing the artificial ingredients and are instead being replaced by apple extract, coffee leaf, cane sugar, and sparkling water. This change will also drop the drink anywhere from 10-30 calories, I’ve seen different figures floating around. As of now Pepsi Raw will only be served in certain bars and clubs in London, Manchester, Glasgow, Brighton, Birmingham, Leeds and Liverpool.

Please, I beg of you, send me this. I’m dying here. 
Doctor says all I can eat is organic products. 
Wait, what’s that you say? There already are organic colas? 
and what was that? Fruit? What the Fuck is Fruit?

LINK

Jesus Kidnapped, Ransom Demands Poopie Cleanup

Ransom Note:

“We are holding Jesus ransom until you clean up the poopie from your wieners and trust us we see you take your wieners for long walks without picking up their poopie in our yards. This has upset us dearly so please clean up all the weiner poopie, if you want to see Jesus unharmed. Sincerely, Lindy Lane Residents.”

Response:

“It has to be a young person because they put these lines around Jesus, no adult is going to waste their time doing that,” (Mansel said before the statue was returned). “And referring to weiner poopie…my gosh.”

Apparently, it was not taken by a neighbor, but rather a family member.

Luckily no one was hurt. LINK

You Need a Reason to Hate the South?

In an email from Boss to a Junior Prosecutor in Texas:

“He convicted Mr. Sosa of a double intoxication manslaughter, got a weak jury to give him 12 years in each, and then convinced Judge Wallace to stack the sentences. He overcame a subversively good defence by Matt Hennessey that had some Canadians on the jury feeling sorry for the defendant and forced them to do the right thing.”

Canadian is the new N-word. why?

Last August, a blogger in Cincinnati going by the name CincyBlurg reported that a black friend from the southeastern U.S. had recently discovered that she was being called a Canadian. “She told me a story of when she was working in a shop in the South and she overheard some of her customers complaining that they were always waited on by a Canadian at that place. She didn’t understand what they were talking about and assumed they must be talking about someone else,” the blogger wrote.

LINK 

First Politician to Fall Victim to Myspace

Arlington Oregon voters have voted to recall Carmen Kontur-Grontquist by a vote of 142-139. Carmen posed in black underwear next to a fire truck in hopes to help her status as a single mother. Ain’t nothing wrong with that. If you’ve got the goods, flaunt ‘em! hahaha also, I love the Ass Press “Opponents said it wasn’t fitting for the mayor to be so depicted. They said they also disagreed with her on issues about water and the local golf course.” Can’t disagree with this bod. You want politics, you got two B-cups of Justice right here(I’m being generous, I know). With a name like Carmen Kontur-Grontquist, how can you go wrong? that’s the best pornstar name I’ve ever heard.

“oh yeah, give it to me Carmen Kontur-Gruntquist!”
“Actually it’s Gronquist”
“Actually, shut up”
“no”
“dammit, there goes my hardon”
“and fifty bucks”

Jacki, I’m only kidding. please don’t hurt me.

Watch and See Why I Put It Here

Best Adapted Screenplay on FunnyOrDie.com
Watch this and comment below. 

Thank You!

I wanna send a shout out to all those people that have commented and helped this blog.

Thank You’s are in order.

Thank You Bryant I appriciate your comment on Judge Somma. He is a Bush appointee approved by Massaschusetts.

Thank You  qinnoe  Thank You for reading my excerpt about Reversing Hard-Boiled Status of Eggs. I too would love to try the chocolate bernaise sauce…all over my body.

Thank You  Suzz Too Many Many Comments to name. thanks for brainstorming too.

Thank You RyaLab Too Too Many Comment. Much Obliged. Thank you for being online when I need you.

Thank You  Will. Thanks for your input but your title (Headline: Daniel Day Lewis wins Oscar for being on drugs, son rolls madd bluntz for da Po, Bitch Fucked) is just to damn long! good try.

Thank You harrisonlatour. Thanks for your update on the Mayoral race in Muskogee County Oklahoma.

Thank You Jacki for EVERYTHING. You’re an amazing woman, you know that? You’re funny, smart, sexy and beautiful and all the things a man could ever want. and I do agree “haha i love you sug<3 fuck da po po!” Fuck da police comin straight outta da undaground. Love you too, baby.

Thank You Elise Karam. Wasn’t that movie awesome?

Thank You chicago ska for the comment about the Drunken Substitute Teacher. Smoke Up, Toke Up. Call me. ;-) Seriously. :-|

Thank You Rachel Boyer Aim: rhelac Thanks for saying “that santa is a creep” about Santa.

Thank You kaff kat. I love bananas. don’t like cancer. eugh indeed.

Thank You http://writingcanvas.wordpress.com for this comment

“My son had chores, he had a job, he did well with schoolwork, was involved in church activities, but he learned of a foolish game and probably thought he’d try it “once” and died. Yesterday (11th) was three years he’s been gone. What we need is awareness. Just as parents talk to their children about drugs and sex, this is another one that needs to be talked about – before it’s too late. Most parents don’t even know this game exists – we didn’t, until our son died. I hope you continue sharing about it. Thank you.”

Love Criticism. I’d love more!  New Choking Game

Thank You jamie keiles. You have a Turntable? SICK! Do you like scratch and stuff. I mean the turntable, do you scratch it? (for everyone else: DJ Hero – Modification of Guitar Hero)

Thank You Laura for your missleading comments. haven’t looked at that site. maybe I’ll do that now. or never.

Hardboiled or Softboiled? Fuck That. How About Unboiled?

The Man Who Can Unboil an Egg

Neatorama: LINK

Meet Hervé This, French physical chemist who, along with physicist Nicholas Kurti, founded the “Molecular Gastronomy” culinary movement (he wrote the famous book with the same title). Hervé is famous for being the man who could unboil an egg.

His specialism is the science of cooking. For him, every foodstuff is ‘a chemical mixture’. ‘When aromatic compounds are formed on the surface of a roast,they are the result of a chemical reaction. When mushrooms turn black after being chopped, it is the fruit of a chemical reaction.’

Over the years, his musings on chemical reactions have led to a number of discoveries. He has worked out how to uncook an egg. He has calculated that you can produce 24 litres of mayonnaise with a single yolk. He has invented a Béarnaise sauce by replacing butter with melted chocolate, as well as ‘chocolate chantilly’ (a form of whipped chocolate prepared in the same way as crème chantilly). He’s baked an egg for an hour at 55°C, managing somehow to leave the yolk ‘exceptionally smooth and tender’.

Oh, and how do you unboil an egg? Hervé explains:

… when an egg is cooked, the protein molecules unroll themselves, link up and enclose the water molecules. In order to ‘uncook’ the egg, you need to detach the protein molecules from each other. By adding a product like sodium borohydride, the egg becomes liquid within three hours. For those who want to try it at home, vitamin C also does the trick.